I was on top of a 10 foot rolling scaffolding device with Becks (one of my trusty bridesmaids) when my phone rang. My wedding was in 2 days and I had been screening my calls/text messages. If it wasn't one of about 4 people it could go to voicemail and I would deal with it in an hour. I looked down.
Wanie
Not one of the four, but also, not a call I wouldn't take. As I raised the phone to my ear Becks shot me a look. We had just been talking about how I would 't get anything done if I took every call as it came in.
"Hey Wanie! How are-" She cut me off.
"Karen May. I need to know that you have spent some serious time on your knees over this man."
I laughed. No time for small talk, my future was apparently at stake. "Of course I have Wanie! He is amazing. He loves Jesus and he has such a servant's heart!"
"I need to know that you have no doubts what-so-ever that this is the man God intends for you to marry."
One reassurance wasn't enough. So again I smiled and told her that I was positive, that I had no doubts that he was the one for me and that I couldn't wait for her to meet him. Over Facebook she had been giving us a hard time about dancing on a Sunday and we knew she was going to try to come to the wedding.
"Well then. That's enough for me. Your mom loves him and so does your dad, so I guess I'll trust you all's judgement."
We laughed and she told me she just needed to hear it from me, that she thought she had things worked out and was going to try to be there in 2 days. She said that she knew I had things to do so she'd let me go.
She didn't know I was currently perched 10 feet in the air trying to tape a 50 foot plastic sheet to a cable, but I think if she had known she would have been proud of Becks and I's "lets do it" & "make it work" attitude.
You see I learned that attitude at Camp Nunny Cha-Ha. Camp Nunny has a very special place in my heart. My mom was a staffer there in her college days under the direction of Lawanna Roberts (affectionately known by our family as Wanie) Mom loved camp so much she and dad postponed their wedding so she could work there one more summer. Wanie was the leader of the gang that followed mom and dad to their wedding night hotel to decorate their car and was also at the hospital when I was born. I'm pretty sure she invited mom and I to come to Mother-Daughter Camp right there in the hospital.
Not that next summer, but a year before I was old enough to attend Mother-Daughter Camp Wanie invited mom and I. And then a year before I was old enough to attend the week-long camp Wanie asked me if I wanted to come for the week or do one more year of Mother-Daughter Camp. My mother was hoping for one more year together, but she had unfortunately raised me to be fearless and I was all too excited to get to go to camp for a whole week all by myself.
Next was an invite to be a CIT (Counselor in Training), you guessed it, one year before I was old enough. I was not able to take her up on that invitation due to a previously planned summer mission trip. (That was slightly ironic because my love for missions started growing early in my heart at Camp Nunny Cha-Ha.)
Then I was a CIT for one summer and then a camp counselor for 2 years after that. One of my last years as a camper my mom and I were in Wanie's room talking on pick-up day. Wanie asked me if I would want to work a camp someday. I remember telling her that not only did I want to work at camp, but that I wanted her job. She would tease me about that for years to come.
I was asked to be a unit leader, but other summer plans (mainly mission trips to Estonia) got in the way of that. Even though I never got to participate in camp again, that hill is in my blood. My love for it's director and the part she played in my mother's and in my life will not fade away.
Unfortunately Wanie was not able to attend my wedding. She had been living with a nasty disease, that I have a special hate for, for several years. I haven't been close with Wanie while she struggled with it, but I am very close with someone else who has the same disease, my dad. It is a horrible thing that doesn't show itself. I know she lived in a lot of pain because I know my dad and the unfair rhythms of RA so well.
When I saw the Facebook post that Wanie had died in her home during the night my heart sunk. About 2 years ago another woman who had a big influence in my life died suddenly in her home and I found out over Facebook. They had different influences over me, but both women shaped who I've become by their relationship and involvement in my life.
Yesterday our pastor preached over John Chapter 11. The story of Jesus bringing Lazarus back from the dead. God was preparing my heart with two truths I would need to hold on to into the afternoon. 1, Jesus has power, the final say, over death. And 2, death does sting, here on earth, and thats okay.
I know that Wanie is in heaven. Jesus has the final say over death. Wanie believed that Christ actually, physically, came to our world and paid the penalty she had earned for her sins. Wanie was welcomed into heaven by her family and friends and she is enjoying the reward seeing the eternal impact her life made. I can't imagine the sea of people (from so many nations) who are there because of her obedience to Christ. I personally know 4 women who are living their lives overseas as missionaries who were influenced in part by Wanie and Camp Nunny Cha-Ha.
Secondly, I know that it is okay to cry. While I have hope that Jesus holds power over death, and as Paul says so eloquently in 1st Corinthians, "Death, where is your victory. Death, where is your sting?" He is talking about the eternal picture. In the story of Lazarus Jesus was deeply moved and wept over Lazarus's death right before he brought Lazarus back to life! It doesn't mean you don't have enough faith when you hurt over lost loved ones and friends. It means you are human, you are hurting, and your emotions are working properly.
So even though I know the eternal picture, I have hope that Wanie is with Christ and I will one day get to hug her neck again and tell her about how she shaped my life, it's okay for me to cry now. Crying just means you hurt and Jesus understands that.
Note: When I started this blog I intended it to be a humorous look at mine and my husband's life. I know recently the post haven't been too funny, but I think it is important to write about what is real in my life right now. Hopefully soon there will be stories to make you laugh.
Wanie
Not one of the four, but also, not a call I wouldn't take. As I raised the phone to my ear Becks shot me a look. We had just been talking about how I would 't get anything done if I took every call as it came in.
"Hey Wanie! How are-" She cut me off.
"Karen May. I need to know that you have spent some serious time on your knees over this man."
I laughed. No time for small talk, my future was apparently at stake. "Of course I have Wanie! He is amazing. He loves Jesus and he has such a servant's heart!"
"I need to know that you have no doubts what-so-ever that this is the man God intends for you to marry."
One reassurance wasn't enough. So again I smiled and told her that I was positive, that I had no doubts that he was the one for me and that I couldn't wait for her to meet him. Over Facebook she had been giving us a hard time about dancing on a Sunday and we knew she was going to try to come to the wedding.
"Well then. That's enough for me. Your mom loves him and so does your dad, so I guess I'll trust you all's judgement."
We laughed and she told me she just needed to hear it from me, that she thought she had things worked out and was going to try to be there in 2 days. She said that she knew I had things to do so she'd let me go.
She didn't know I was currently perched 10 feet in the air trying to tape a 50 foot plastic sheet to a cable, but I think if she had known she would have been proud of Becks and I's "lets do it" & "make it work" attitude.
You see I learned that attitude at Camp Nunny Cha-Ha. Camp Nunny has a very special place in my heart. My mom was a staffer there in her college days under the direction of Lawanna Roberts (affectionately known by our family as Wanie) Mom loved camp so much she and dad postponed their wedding so she could work there one more summer. Wanie was the leader of the gang that followed mom and dad to their wedding night hotel to decorate their car and was also at the hospital when I was born. I'm pretty sure she invited mom and I to come to Mother-Daughter Camp right there in the hospital.
Not that next summer, but a year before I was old enough to attend Mother-Daughter Camp Wanie invited mom and I. And then a year before I was old enough to attend the week-long camp Wanie asked me if I wanted to come for the week or do one more year of Mother-Daughter Camp. My mother was hoping for one more year together, but she had unfortunately raised me to be fearless and I was all too excited to get to go to camp for a whole week all by myself.
Next was an invite to be a CIT (Counselor in Training), you guessed it, one year before I was old enough. I was not able to take her up on that invitation due to a previously planned summer mission trip. (That was slightly ironic because my love for missions started growing early in my heart at Camp Nunny Cha-Ha.)
Then I was a CIT for one summer and then a camp counselor for 2 years after that. One of my last years as a camper my mom and I were in Wanie's room talking on pick-up day. Wanie asked me if I would want to work a camp someday. I remember telling her that not only did I want to work at camp, but that I wanted her job. She would tease me about that for years to come.
I was asked to be a unit leader, but other summer plans (mainly mission trips to Estonia) got in the way of that. Even though I never got to participate in camp again, that hill is in my blood. My love for it's director and the part she played in my mother's and in my life will not fade away.
Unfortunately Wanie was not able to attend my wedding. She had been living with a nasty disease, that I have a special hate for, for several years. I haven't been close with Wanie while she struggled with it, but I am very close with someone else who has the same disease, my dad. It is a horrible thing that doesn't show itself. I know she lived in a lot of pain because I know my dad and the unfair rhythms of RA so well.
When I saw the Facebook post that Wanie had died in her home during the night my heart sunk. About 2 years ago another woman who had a big influence in my life died suddenly in her home and I found out over Facebook. They had different influences over me, but both women shaped who I've become by their relationship and involvement in my life.
Yesterday our pastor preached over John Chapter 11. The story of Jesus bringing Lazarus back from the dead. God was preparing my heart with two truths I would need to hold on to into the afternoon. 1, Jesus has power, the final say, over death. And 2, death does sting, here on earth, and thats okay.
I know that Wanie is in heaven. Jesus has the final say over death. Wanie believed that Christ actually, physically, came to our world and paid the penalty she had earned for her sins. Wanie was welcomed into heaven by her family and friends and she is enjoying the reward seeing the eternal impact her life made. I can't imagine the sea of people (from so many nations) who are there because of her obedience to Christ. I personally know 4 women who are living their lives overseas as missionaries who were influenced in part by Wanie and Camp Nunny Cha-Ha.
Secondly, I know that it is okay to cry. While I have hope that Jesus holds power over death, and as Paul says so eloquently in 1st Corinthians, "Death, where is your victory. Death, where is your sting?" He is talking about the eternal picture. In the story of Lazarus Jesus was deeply moved and wept over Lazarus's death right before he brought Lazarus back to life! It doesn't mean you don't have enough faith when you hurt over lost loved ones and friends. It means you are human, you are hurting, and your emotions are working properly.
So even though I know the eternal picture, I have hope that Wanie is with Christ and I will one day get to hug her neck again and tell her about how she shaped my life, it's okay for me to cry now. Crying just means you hurt and Jesus understands that.
Mom, Darlene & Wanie.
Above is my mom with some of her Nunny buddies, and below is me with some of mine.
Note: When I started this blog I intended it to be a humorous look at mine and my husband's life. I know recently the post haven't been too funny, but I think it is important to write about what is real in my life right now. Hopefully soon there will be stories to make you laugh.
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